The first victim woke up to angry messages on the internet after the episode aired.
Every rose has its thorn.
And for Hannah Rose, playing the game ofSurvivorwas a thorny situation indeed.
Hannah Rose on “Survivor 45'.Robert Voets/CBS
In the end, they honored her wishes and sent her out of the game.
What caused Hannah to tap out so early?
What was like having to relive the experience on TV?
Sean Edwards, Hannah Rose, and Brandon Donlon on ‘Survivor 45’.Robert Voets/CBS
Does she regret signing up for the show in the first place?
We spoke toSurvivor 45’s first victim and got the full story.
(you’re able to watch the entire interview above or read it below.)
The Lulu tribe on ‘Survivor 45’.Robert Voets/CBS
HANNAH ROSE:What happened is, first and foremost, hunger.
I couldn’t possibly anticipate what it would feel like after days.
I mean, my toenails almost fell off and I didn’t sleep one minute.
The cast of ‘Survivor 45’.Robert Voets/CBS
That’s who I am.
And there was nothing there.
It’s been a morning.
You knew it was hard when you hit the beach.
We saw you very early on go, “Wow, this is hard.”
And I rememberyou saying in your bio, “I really want to be pushed.”
I think after the second night of not sleeping at all.
And then having fun, my connections with the tribe mates, Lulu forever.
I love Lulu so much.
Those connections are so real.
There’s a reason that Sean and I were sobbing at Tribal because of the connection that was made.
you might see the connection with Brandon.
I had this thought…this doesn’t feel good.
I know that’s the game.
I don’t want to backstab them.
I don’t want to take away this person’s dream to further myself…
I didn’t know that until I got out there.
So, again, I did the best I could with what I had.
You mentioned some nicotine withdrawal going on.
How much were you smoking, and do you think that may have actually played a part?
I wasn’t smoking.
I was vaping sometimes, but really I have these little nicotine pouches.
Again, I had no control over my emotions.
I know people are going to rip me apart.
I know people are going to hate me.
I stayed quiet during Tribal because I didn’t want to look bad.
I called him “dad.”
I also gave him a hug.
There’s just so much that people don’t see.
Don’t trade your authenticity for approval.
And Jeff was like, “Oh, I mean, okay.”
But what would’ve happened if they had just gone ahead and voted Emily out instead of you?
Honestly, I don’t know.
And again, that Tribal was way longer than what you saw.
At one point Jeff went down the line and said, “Who’s going to vote for Hannah?
She’s giving her name on a silver platter.”
Sabiyah said, “Hannah will go when we want her to go.”
Jeff was like, “Stop.
You mean you’re going to quit?”
And I was just like, “Listen.
I’m not okay.”
Because as I said to Jeff at Tribal: This ain’t it.
It’s not it for me.
The hard thing aboutSurvivoris that you have to live this twice, right?
When it happens, and then later when it airs, you have to relive it.
What’s it been like for you the past five months knowing this was going to be airing?
I’m a really big advocate of limiting social media use.
I think protecting myself, deactivating Instagram again when I came home there was the speculation on Reddit.
We read the stuff you guys say about us.
The people closest to me know what happened with me, and that’s all that matters.
So I’ve just been excited.
I love this cast so much, and watching it last night was the best.
That’s not cool.
Besides that, I’ve just been pumped.
I was true to myself, and that’s all you might do.
How do you deal with that, Hannah?
You just said in the past hour you woke up, you’re getting these terrible messages.
How are you handling that?
I talk about it, right?
And you saw on the show.
I’ve been on FaceTime with them this morning, and it’s just like… they get it.
They know me, they see me, and they get it.
I just got a couple inspirational pep talks from some people on the cast.
And then some pastSurvivorplayers were texting me this morning.
They’ve been through it, and they know.
So I talk about it.
I cry, drink my coffee.
I’m going to be honest about it.
Technically, it’s not a quit.
It was at Tribal.
Let’s just own that.
Jeffsays it’s a quit.
I still love Jeff, even if it’s not reciprocated.
And I’m proud of that.
Do you regret going out there?
Do you regret doing it?
I mean, it was the best experience.
People think like, “Oh, you were there for three days.
That’s your wholeSurvivorexperience.”
The friends that I have made on this cast have become a second family.
I hang out with a lot of ‘em a lot, and I’m so glad I did this.
I know that this feeling this morning will pass, right?
Go read the news.
There’s other stuff going on to focus on than whether or not I quitSurvivor.
What was that whole situation like?
I cannot believe it didn’t make the cut.
It was after days of not speaking.
Let me just sayKendra’sa phenomenal human being.
I was in the wrong.
I’m like,Ooh, I can use this opportunity to leave.
But then I’m going back and forth.
So we’re in the water and stuff.
We finish, a boat comes, and we’re all like, “Who is that?”
And it’s Kendra.
And I’m like, “Nope.
I am too hungry to meet someone new.”
She’s an amazing person.
So she ended up talking to everyone.
There was this huge scramble, and it was like, “Who’s going to be the vote?
Is it going to be this person or this person?”
And I was like, “Well, I’m not going to write this person’s name down.
I refuse to write their name down.”
Again, day 3, and I’m like, “I can’t play the game.”
My heart is just falling out of my chest.
And Kendra’s there and she is making connections with people.
So she’s at Tribal, and I wish they showed it.
Kellie on Belo looks at me and is like, [sad with hand on chest].
And I look back at her and I’m like [smiling and happy].
I was like, “I don’t want to do this.
I don’t want to do another challenge.
This is so much harder than it looks on TV.”
So anyway, yeah, the whole Kendra thing, I mean, that was hours.
There’s so much that you don’t see.
So it’s just a lesson.
People aren’t just characters on TV.
And sorry if I ruined your fantasy draft.
