Just stand back and let Gary Cole be funny, y’all.

How does the magnificently coiffed agent end up wielding a scalpel and a fake identity?

It involves a kidnapping, a cartel, and a wicked crick in his neck.

NCIS “Heartless”

Diona Reasonover, Sean Murray.Sonja Flemming/CBS

Then he grimaces even harder when Palmer suggests acupuncture, having forgotten about Parkers trypanophobia.

(Thats a fear of needles, if youre not up on your phobia names.)

When you care enough to kidnap the very best, you kidnap Dr. Harper, I guess.

NCIS “Heartless”

Sean Murray, Christina Kirk, and Gary Cole in ‘NCIS.'.Sonja Flemming/CBS

The recovered recording mentions El Viento, the nickname of ruthless cartel boss Carlos Savina.

Thinking quickly, Parker throws on a white coat and insists that he’s necessary for a successful operation.

Savina (Juan Javier Cardenas) is there with a gross, stiched-up incision from Dr. Harpers surgery attempt.

Hes skeptical about this Dr. Trowbridge whos not mentioned in any articles about Drs.

Harper and Logan, and Parker snaps, I have an MD from Harvard.

I am board certified in cardiothoracic medicine and trauma surgery.

Bold choice to steal Alec Baldwins speech fromMalice, she hiss-whispers.

You watch too many movies, Parker whispers back.

When Savina comes to, hes cuffed to the bed in an actual hospital.

The good news: Dr. Logan and her team removed his tumor.

The bad news: a delighted Vance puts him under arrest.

The Hippocratic oath says first do no harm.

And yall,itson.

Okay, Im thinking autumn nuptials.