A bold merge move goes horribly awry.
The goal ofSurvivoris to keep audiences guessing.
But every once in a while, the show does away with all of that.
Rome Cooney on ‘Survivor 47’.Robert Voets/CBS
It doesnt bother with any red herrings or pump fakes or alternate possibilities.
Anytime the camera cut to any group in any configuration, the consensus was clear Rome was the name.
The show just kept doubling down that Rome was a goner.
The cast of ‘Survivor 47’.Robert Voets/CBS
But the blissfully unaware Rome did not give them a quote or two.
HE GAVE THEM, LIKE, 80!
Tonight is about sending a message to Sol, letting him know that I won the war.
Kyle Ostwald, Sierra Wright, Caroline Vidmar, Andy Rueda, Rachel LaMont, and Sue Smey on ‘Survivor 47’.Robert Voets/CBS
Im gonna be feasting on Sols bones tonight.
Man, like, I am running this game, This aint even Magic vs. Larry.
This is Michael Jordan vs. Kirk Hinrich.
Tiyana Hallums, Teeny Chirichillo, and Sam Phalen on ‘Survivor 47’.Robert Voets/CBS
This is not even a competition right now.
Im playing this game on a whole nother level!
Robert Voets/CBS
Do you know how hard it is to saythatmany overly confident things in a two-minute span?
Rome Cooney on ‘Survivor 47’.Robert Voets/CBS
And a freakin Kirk Hinrich shout-out?
Are you kidding me???
And the person we have to thank for all of this is none other than Rome himself.
Jeff Probst and the cast of ‘Survivor 47’.Robert Voets/CBS
Look, I get it that the narrative is going to be Hahahahahahaha, what a fool!
because, yes, he did look foolish talking that much smack only to get smacked back.
But the thing is, Rome was brave enough to put himself out there by saying all that stuff.
Jeff Probst on ‘Survivor 47’.Robert Voets/CBS
I also found Romes final words to be really interesting.
But hopefully I brought a bit of entertainment.
Hes certainly someone that loves attention.
I think thats pretty inarguable.
If he were out there only to be entertaining, Id have a problem with that.
But Rome was clearly playing the game and playing it hard, if not always well.
Lets feast on the bones of a few other things from episode 6 ofSurvivor 47.
New era, same as the old era
Im super confused.
As confused as Andy sawing a rope with the wrong end of the saw.
As confused asSophie Clarkewatching anAdam Sandler crossdressing comedyin Samoa.
As confused asCharlie Davislearning aboutMarias final Tribal Council vote.
There would be a two-team challenge.
I certainly knowSydney Segalhas.)
So, this seasonSurvivordid something different.
Everyone else was in danger of being voted out.
Sure, some people got some food and others didnt.
And okay, the timing of when people got their merge buffs was a bit delayed.
But, like, its a merge, right????
I mean, 13 people competed.
One person won immunity and was safe.
Everyone else was in danger of being voted out.
They were all living on the same beach.
Oh, wait, I just received Tree Mail, and it says… THATS A MERGE!
And do you know why it says that?
Im not even arguing whether one way is better than the other.
I just think we should call the thing what it is.
To say Rome was a pre-merge boot doesnt really feel accurate at all.
Whether they choose to call it that or not.
When three become one
So many hugs around this (allegedly non) merge.
Each individual tribe hugging one another upon reading the Tree Mail.
Then, more hugging when they all arrived on the same beach.
Hell,Jeff Probsteven started hugging people at Tribal Council.
It was like Hug-a-Thon 2024 out there!
Immediately, everyone started running like Miss Peppers with her head cut-off.
Everyone, that is, except Caroline and Rome.
Caroline and Tiyana who had previously caught Sueliterallyred-handed of course now knew Sue was hiding something from them.
I have no idea why!
And it wasnt fake enthusiasm either.
This was legitimate enthusiasm.
And it was aSurvivorsuicide.
Inadvertent, perhaps, but self-inflicted all the same.
What Rome failed to take into account, however, is that people onSurvivortalk.
Sol then did the fact-checking, and Romes game was essentially over as noweveryonewanted him out.
Yes, we do, Kyle.
Yes, we do.
And then this week, we got the schoolyard pick em!
First one in the new era!
LETS GOOOOOOOO!!!!
Who picked who?I have no idea!
(Although the hostdoesreveal the final two picks,which you might see here.
As for the individual challenge, Im sorry, but I always found the balance-a-ball-on-a-bow contest pretty boring.
The first two out?
So a little field research for all you future players out there.
Naturally, he ended up winning.
Yay for honest dumbasses!
(Do you know how hard that is, by the way?)
But, I mean, Im happy to document it again, if you want.
(That voice I hear in my head is recap editor Ashley Boucher begging NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!)
RELEASE THE DRUNK TEENY TAPES, YOU COWARDS!
Well, Im not.
A stare down at Genevieve would have been nice.
(ELECTION DENIER!)
