This week onThe Bachelorette, Jenn learned that theres a fine line between romantic gesture and unhinged behavior.
Despite the glorious surroundings, Sam M. is still still!
Worst case scenario, I have to look at Devin all day.
Former Bachelor Jesse Palmer tells Jenn about his history of talking with his mouth full on ‘The Bachelorette’.
Come on, bro!
Its okay to admit that youre in love with another man.
And if youre not, maybe you should just shut the f— up about him.
Sam M. and Jenn on ‘The Bachelorette’.ABC
Devin, however, is keeping things in proper perspective.
Im not going to let anything that I cant control bother me, he says.
I feel pretty confident about my connection with Jenn.
Sam M. and Jenn on ‘The Bachelorette’.ABC
Elsewhere in Auckland, Jenn has joined hostJesse Palmerfor a check-in chat.
On my season, I was scarfing the food down on every single date.
I think after that, they had to stop doing it," adds Palmer.
Sam M. gets the date rose on ‘The Bachelorette’.ABC
“I essentially ruined it for everybody.
Everybody but the viewers at home, Jesse.
We dont want to listen to people chewing.
Dancers perform a Haka on ‘The Bachelorette’.ABC
Its bad enough that we have to endure all those slurpy kissing noises.
Thank you for your service, sir.
Congrats to:
ABC
Oh.
Sam M. and Devin sit in awkward silence on ‘The Bachelorette’.ABC
I rescind my congrats.
As you may recall, rose lovers, most of their conversations to date have involved face-sucking and groping.
As theyre talking, two people in jumpsuits zoom past the window attached to bungee cords.
Sam N.’s jersey does some wishful thinking on ‘The Bachelorette’.ABC
Surely you didnt think producers would send their acrophobic lead into a tall structure without making her jump off!
A walk sounds lovely, says Jenn but she is quickly contradicted by her date.
No, says Sam M. We would like to jump.
Sam N. gets friend-zoned on ‘The Bachelorette’.ABC
Oh, HELL to the no.
(Maybe I hatedBentley from Ashleys seasonmore but its close.)
The Bachelorette also does NOT love it.
Jenn hugs Marcus on ‘The Bachelorette’.ABC
This is a two-person decision, she snaps.
You think you’re able to just make the decision for me to jump?
I dont think you understand that Im actually unhappy, she says.
Thomas makes his feelings about Sam N. known on ‘The Bachelorette’.ABC
Eventually, Sam M. relents or pretends to.
Lets just go on a walk then, he says.
But his plan remains the same.
Jenn lets Sam N. down gently on ‘The Bachelorette’.ABC
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.
You, sir, can f—allllllthe way off.
If I dont get the support from Sam, I wont be jumping today, she says.
Sam N. is sent home on ‘The Bachelorette’.ABC
Hear that, you jackass?
Maybe its time to do more than just laugh and smirk at Jenn for being scared.
I hate this, says Jenn.
Marcus gets the rose on ‘The Bachelorette’.ABC
This is worse than skydiving.
The Bachelorette feels isolated and alone in her sheer terror, thanks to her obnoxious date.
Hes not wanting to really be there for me, she complains.
Jenn and Devin at dinner on ‘The Bachelorette’.ABC
Hes just in this for himself.
Dont do it, he says quietly, as Jenn cries into his chest.
Dont worry about it.
Jenn and Devin smooch on ‘The Bachelorette’.ABC
For all of us watching, Sams belated gesture of understanding is too little, too late.
But sadly, its enough for Jenn.
Cut to:
Oh, for the love of all thats holy.
Jesse Palmer interrupts ‘The Bachelorette’ with a breaking news bulletin.ABC
You deserve it, whispers Sam M.
And so on and so forth.
Jenn buys it all, though.
And you know what that means, rose lovers:
Whatever, Sam M. Enjoy your victory.
The many camera feeds of ‘The Bachelorette’.ABC
I refuse to believe that it will be anything but temporary.
On to the group date!
But first, a traditional Maori ceremony known as the Haka!
Jenn speaks the truth on ‘The Bachelorette’.ABC
Today, were here to support Jenn, and to help separate the boys from the men.
Sam N. is determined to fall into the latter category.
Jenn plays along, but shes more tolerating than enjoying Sam N.s attentions.
A preview of Matt all dressed up in next week’s episode of ‘The Bachelorette’.ABC
Meanwhile, back at the hotel…
Come on, boys.
Whats your deal with me?
I dont have a deal with you, Devin replies.
They argue back and forth I dont respect you!
I dont respect you, either!
and Devin rightly points out that he has never complained that Sam M. doesnt talk to him.
He simply cant tolerate Sam M. talking so much s— about him unprompted.
They end their conversation as they began: In stony, uncomfortable silence.
Enough of this nonsense!
Lets watch some men injure themselves for love in The Bachelorettes Rugby Royale!
Palmer helpfully explains the rules of rugby, but he neednt have bothered.
Were just here for the slow-mo tackles and (minor) injuries.
Sams come out her to make a run at prove something to Jenn.
Just look at the back of Sams jersey:
Manifestation, baby!
he hollers to the Bachelorette.
(Thats one word for it, I suppose.)
Fortunately, everybody gets to attend the afterparty.
I hate those losers go home dates.
The more men, the more drama, after all especially with the Love Virgin being so extra.
Sam N. is rubbing people the wrong way.
Hes rubbing me the wrong way, in particular.
Even polite-to-a-fault Marcus is starting to get annoyed.
Will you just check yourself real quick, dude?
he whisper-yells at Sam N., when the latter tries to crowd him on the couch.
Marcus then winks conspiratorially at Jonathon, who LOVES it.
Now we know why he was walking fast, jokes Jeremy.
Step one: Give Jenn a jersey with Sams Wife written on the back.
Step two: Declare that he is dead set on proposing to her.
Step three: Keep saying boss bitch energy.
Unfortunately for Sam N., their chat ends with a friend-zone hug.
Dare to dream, buddy!
Back in the holding pen, Grant gently urges Sam N. to stop being a douchebag.
Im proud of you for what you did today, says Grant.
But when you win, you handle things with grace.
What do you want me to say right now?
Jonathon suggests that he not say a word, so Sam N. gets up and walks away.
I just dont want anyone to feel bad for me, says the Army Ranger Veteran.
Maybe Im just asking for a little room right now.
The Bachelorette reminds him that he doesnt always have to be strong, and they embrace.
Rose lovers, Im starting to think these two are endgame.
Whats happening in the holding pen?
Is that Sam M.s Suck-Up Sidekick pulling Sam N. to the side for a talking-to?
Man, Thomas really loves to play emotional hall monitor.
I know what Jenn wants, and she wants that ferocious love.
Jenn, can I kiss you?
OMG, rose lovers, youve gotta see her face.
The Bachelorette pauses for a full five seconds before shutting it down.
I admire how open you are and how vulnerable youve been with me, she says.
I want to be honest with you.
Cut to:
Im leaving here confused, says Sam N. with a sigh.
I feel like the biggest fool of the century.
Awww, now I feel bad for the guy.
Maybe hell have better luck next year inParadise.
With that, its time for Jenn to hand out the date rose.
Dylan puts his arm around his shoulder, and someone else says, We love you, bro.
Hes even well-liked by the other men!
Endgame, I tell ya.
The final date of the week goes to Devin.
(And yeah, I love how pissed Sam M. must be about it.)
Thank you for having us here, he adds.
I hope we can continue to make you proud.
It’s pretty sweet, and Jenn is moved by Devins devotion to his mom.
A happy and healthy family is all the tradition I need, he says.
As it turns out, Devin has more Opening UpTM to do.
Of course, that hurt his moms feelings, but she never wavered once, marvels Devin.
No matter how much I lashed out or how much trouble I got in, she never wavered.
Yes to celebrating moms who make it work!
And yes to men asking women questions about themselves on dates!
Devin just asked Jenn if she still has a relationship with her father.
Short answer: No.
Im falling for you, says Devin.
Youre an amazing woman, and I just want to celebrate you as long as I can.
You know what happens next, rose lovers.
Welp, theres nothing left but the cocktail party and rose ceremony.
Wait… why is Palmer in the lobby of the hotel?
A guy from Jenns past has reached out to one of our producers, the host informs us.
Cue the24-style split screen!
The host asks Matt for a download on his relationship with Jenn.
Recently they reconnected but Jenn thought they were just friends.
Palmers all,Weve got a rose ceremony coming up, buddy.
If you want to talk to Jenn, youve gotta do itright freaking now.
Yep, producers are going to make this dude ambush Jenn in public.
What afun, sexy timefor both of them!
Im sorry, I cant, I cant, I cant, Jenn says with a gasp.
How are you here right now?
What are you doing here?
What is going on?
The Bachelorette is, in a word, flabbergasted.
Weve had so many chances, says Jenn.
I feel like this is coming out of nowhere!
And then she makes the billion-dollar point:
EXACTLY.
I did say it, Matt replies weakly.
But I didnt say it as grandly as this.
Jenn isnt sure what to do, so Matt doubles down.
I mean, dating just you would be great, Matt mumbles.
But Im along for the ride.
I would love to join you, for me to prove to you how much you mean to me.
The Bachelorette steps away to contemplate her future.
I dont know where my heart is pulling me.
Whatever happens, heres hoping that it takes the focus off Sam M.s one-sided beef with Devin.
I dont want to hear another word about that situation until theyre forced into the inevitable two-on-one date.
One month down, rose lovers!
Are you joining me on #TeamMarcus?
Do you think Matt flew to New Zealand for the Right ReasonsTM?
And do you loathe Sam M. as much as I do?
Let me know your thoughts on Twitter@KristenGBaldwinor on Bluesky at@kristengbaldwin.bsky.social.
The Bacheloretteairs Mondays at 8 p.m. ET/PT on ABC.
