The ChallengestarTula “Big T” Fazakerleyis in her revenge era.
Ever sinceseason 39’sBattle for a New Championbegan, she found herself as the primary target.
MTV
ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: You were target No.
Tula ‘Big T’ Fazakerley.MTV
1 all season long.
I felt as if I was fighting against the tide.
It was brilliant because then I realized that I had to rely on another skill, which was strength.
Pole Wrestle.MTV
I just had to win.
I had to have a winner’s mindset.
Going into dailies, I used to think, “I’m so scared.”
I need to start thinking to myself, “T, you have to win.
You have no option but to win.”
That really has affected how I will play the game in future seasons, and it’s wonderful.
I got to explore a different side to myself.
You say in this episode that anything Melissa does reflects on you.
Everybody was saying to Melissa all season, “Big T has a negative impact on you.
Because if I’m going up to win at the top, she’s winning with me.
And unfortunately if I’m leaving, it seems like we’re dragging each other down together.
It is what it is.
What did you think of how she’d get into a fight with someone new each week?
I understand her frustration.
That’s how she’s going to express herself.
What I love is Melissa’s always going to be herself.
Some people would rather be sneaky, go behind people’s backs.
Did you actually take a stab at bribe Ed with money to not vote for you?
[Laughs] I did!
It was Horacio’s cash, actually.
Let me just do some old fashioned bribery.
I did bribe several other cast members.
Because Kaycee and I are so close, when she pulled up my name, I felt so upset.
When we were putting on all of our safety gear, I’ve not seen Kaycee look that sad.
Wow, talk about a full circle moment.
But Kaycee felt so bad she split her prize money with me.
Not a bad consolation prize!
What it was like actually competing against Kaycee in Pole Wrestle?
I could tell she wasn’t probably doing her hardest strength or maybe I’m just stronger than her.
I was trying to have this winner’s mentality.
“T, you’ve just got to try.
Do whatever you’re free to do.”
I was like, “Let me get this shoulder in that knee.”
I’m just trying to see what I could learn technique-wise from being in that situation.
But then you actually won a round!
How did it feel beating Kaycee in that moment?
I was really excited by that.
I was really happy.
I was thinking to myself, “Maybe I have a chance here.”
Instead of just giving up on myself, I still had a little bit of optimism.
This is another perfect example.
That is the most proof you could possibly need of how strong you really are.
At least I have one high from being in that situation.
I’ve never been so devastated to leave the game out of all of my seasons.
That comes from winning two eliminations.
It was a nice moment of self-discovery.
So how will this experience change you going into future seasons?
I’m definitely not going to take people at face value as much.
I’m going to approach people slightly differently.
And I was like, “Yeah, I know, butIcan.”
Now I understand, that’s not the case.
And that’s enough.
I don’t need to make more friends on the show.
But I’m very interested to see my development with my more physicality side in the game.
So my fear of heights is decreasing.Challengegods, hey don’t test that.
[Laughs] Seeing these changes within myself, I am conquering fears and I really like that.
This season also featured another high for you when you had your coming out party in the house.
Did you come into this season planning to do that?
I was actually going to have a coming out party in London with my friends and my ex-girlfriend.
I was like, “hey, I want to!”
It was a great moment.
You see me crying a lot because I was so afraid to come out to my family.
To be able to come out and be not rejected in that environment was just so wonderful for me.
I was so scared for that episode to air.
I hadn’t told my family, and someone from was like, “It’s tomorrow.”
I was like, “Wait, what?!”
I called Melissa and was like, “It’s airing in an hour.
I still haven’t told my family.
Can you ring them?”
She was like, “No,you’vegot to.”
It was such a moment of panic.
So actually my family ended up finding out the same time as the rest of the world.
Did you end up having conversations with them after they saw the episode?
Yeah, we have.
I don’t recommend doing that.
Anyone watching or listening, kindly don’t do what I did!
But I’m very grateful.
I had pretty much a very positive response.
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
The Challenge: Battle for a New Championairs Wednesdays at 8 p.m. ET/PT on MTV.
